Venting!!!

Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. When I'm frustrated, I tend to take it out on the ppl that don't deserve it. Like today...I'm upset with my husband due to the fact he wanted to hang out with this guy named Malachy...who I totally dislike...and he knows that. This guy is ALWAYS on drugs of some kind, and I don't feel my husband needs to be around ppl like that. Expecually since my husband has an addictive personality. We have already had an issue with him doing oxy's. He over came that obstical and cleaned up his act. But this guy is the one that got him hooked on them in the first place, and Malachy always lies. So today Gary wanted to lay down and rest his leg and his back, cuz he is in a lot of pain. (the car door slammed into the back of his knee, and he has a fractured tail bone) So I had no problem with him resting, cuz he never does that...he is always helping me out, cuz im 36 weeks pregnant and can't do much cleaning and stuff like that. But anyways...when Malachy called him today, he jumped up and went to hang out with him...like it was nothing. I don't understand!!!!!!!! ugh it frustrates me that Gary wants to hang out with this guy. And let me tell you Malachy is always in and out of jail. Ok, and Gary has a family he needs to provide for and take care of and Malachy has two kids, but does nothing for them. The mommas have custody. It's so irritating that Malachy always seems to slip back into Garys life. I feel that Malachy tends to flawk to Gary cuz he is a ppl pleasure, and wants to make everyone happy. But sometimes he needs to think of himself and his family before hanging out with the wrong type of ppl. I love Gary so much and  I dont want him to get influenced by the wrong ppl in his life. I want him to be here for his two boys, and not fall down the wrong path.

So anyways, when I'm upset I tend to get upset with anything and everything. For example, my son was making a lot of noise and I told him to be quite, and he continued to scream....so I gave him a spanken...and afterwards I felt really bad...and wanted to cry. I shouldn't be taking out my frustration out on my son, but on my husband. and not in a bad way, but to just communicate! I love them both, and dont want to hurt anyone.


UGH FRUSTRATED!!!